Scared Straight

What do you think goes through a mothers mind when her child is sick and there is 100% NOTHING she can do about it? Of course, with your child being just over a year old, that makes matters so much worse. They cannot talk, they cannot walk, there is nothing that they can do to show you they need you other than cry.  You do everything in your powers to be there for them, and comfort them, but at the end of the day what they really need they cannot convey to you. So you get frusterated, and they’re already frusterated and the two of you together are not a good match. Still…nothing makes you happier than to hold and comfort your baby. You know that at the least..you can do that for them and it makes them a little calmer and makes you feel like you actually know what you’re doing.  It’s a good feeling.

What’s even better? When they regain some of their strength enough to play, and laugh… not so much to stand up.. which is okay.

Anytime you get to hold them is a really good day.

What Did You Really Want?

Begining your life can be one of the most frightening, and also the most exciting time in your life. Other than your graduation, this is one time you can really truly be proud of yourself and any accomplishments that you’ve made. You know, buying your first car, subleasing your first apartment, buying the first really nice thing you’ve ever had (that was not a christmas or birthday gift) and realizing that you can honestly afford it..  However, after college, (or if school was just not for you and you went another direction), was there anything that you honestly wanted to do with your life, that you had ALWAYS planned for yourself, and always dreamt of, that just never took? Like your dream just got away from you? Do you ever take a step back from your life, and ask yourself ” what happened to my life?” or “How did I end up here?”

Not to say that you don’t really love your life.. like you have things that you always wanted, but obviously money can’t buy happiness, so you’re working those long hours you never wanted or thought for yourself, and you have that job that just drains your energy and more often than not, you feel un appreciated.

The kicker is, you stay because the pay is AMAZING…  How did that happen? You go through your life and all through college just KNOWING what it is your want your life to be after you graduate… then suddenly you’re taking these courses, and classes and pre req’s that just don’t match up to what you want to do when you reach the finish line.. now, you don’t know what to do.

My question to you is just this: What did you really want?